how to break away from toxic friends

How to break away from toxic friends A good friendship, is a vital part of human social life. Life would be monotonous and boring without a friendship. A good friend can turn your darkness into brightness. While a bad friend can turn your sunshine into darkness. Some people keep coming out and going into friendship that was not meant to be in the first place. They are people you should have never addressed as friends in the first place. They better remain acquaintance they were meant to be in the first place. And this is absolutely where a lot of people get it all wrong-calling an acquaintance a friend. Who is a friend, and who is an acquaintance. Answer this questions in your head. Wouldn’t it be better, that you called some people who have hurt you real bad in the past a friend-enemy instead of friend? Friend; ‘’a friend is someone who knows you and understand you a lot, and who you know and understand a lot, but must not be a member of your family’’ that’s what friendship looks like. Knowing each other, and understanding each other. That’s why friends are classified as ‘’birds of the same feather’’, your friend is someone who knows a lot about you. But mind you; it takes someone who knows a lot about you to destroy you. Acquaintance; you know we meet people every day, in our work place, bar, saloon, park, church, club, cinema, metro, bus stations, even in our street and we have a little hearty conversation with them before we part ways, the meeting might continue like in every day, every week, every month, every year. But if you are not intimate with them or by any means you both don’t share some deep thoughts and personal secret that person is not your friend. He/she still remained an acquaintance. There are strangers, who can help you faster than your friends, and they do that without expecting anything from you in return for what they have done for you- and they are friends, who are better of your good-will than your so called core family members. This is where you keep your eyes wide open, while making friends. Search for the soul of the one you want to make your friend. Everything lies there, in the person’s soul. Call no one a friend, in a jiffy, condition and situation determines whom to be called a friend. Always be mindful of that. A good and sincere friend is the best gift one can ever have in this world. But if you make the mistake of calling an enemy a friend, just know that your own coffin has just been purchased by you. And eventually they will nail the cover over your poor body and lower you 6-feet underground and the story ends. Yes, we all make the mistakes of choosing the wrong person as a friend, but what we do after we found out that those we called friends in a real sense was actually meant to be called an archenemy. In the following paragraphs, we should be looking at how to break away from toxic friends. I had a conversation with a man I met in one conference I attended, when our conversation heated up, and we started cracking open some part of us that is best known to us and us alone. The young man emphatically told me that he has no friend, and he had no intention of keeping one either, I asked him why. He told me that friendship he had kept previously all ended up hurting him. Even those he help. As he told me the superficial parts of his ordeal, I could feel the unhealed pains in his heart through his eyes, at a point he couldn’t look up at me again in the eyes, and his eyes was red-shot as he narrates to me how he was hurt, betrayed, rubbed, almost kidnapped, and almost poisoned by some people he called friends. And he tried to convince me not to have friends, if I wanted to live long or go far in life. He even told me that some friends are mirror agents, and because of that, any good thing you tell them coming your way will never manifest again, simply because their ears are vile and was not meant to hear good news. Determine what you want out of life, having determined then outline them, any friend that did not fall along with it should be dished out of the pot. And these are how to go about it. 1. If they are anything they use to do for you look for the alternative ways of doing the same thing for yourself. This one of the factors that hooked a lot of people to toxic relationship or friendship. When you think that there is no other ways to do what those people used to do for you and stick with them undermining the dangers of keeping such friendship. 2. Start keeping distance. Keeping distance from someone you used to be so intimate with, will make the person question and examine him/herself, wondering if he/she was the reason why you decided to keep, distance. And if it happens that he/she has not been treating you ill. He/she will feel your sudden awakening and they will be the one to give you the distance you desire. Many people who hurt are aware of what they are doing to you, and they keep doing it because they think that you are not aware of what they are doing and by the time they begin to notice that your are aware of their behavior towards your life they will be the one to first take the leave in your life. 3. Live the opposite of the life you used to live with your friends; something must have prompted why you want to change the cycle of your friends, I could be the way they live, that you don’t want to continue again. Or that they hurt you. For instance if your friends are womanizers or drunk, and you don’t want to continue with that way of life. The best thing you have to do is to live the opposite. By that way you are no longer in tune with their way of life. And they will begin to see you as falling off from their ways of living. And as you do that try to preach to them to quite their ways of living. If they are still deep into that wayward way of living they will be the one to dump you. While, you laugh at them having accomplished your aims and objectives. 4. Be bold enough to tell them or the person that it is over. If they are kind of clingy and refused to leave your life, then you will have no other option but to tell them to give you space. Do not bite your tongue about it, be as bold as hell and tell them that your friendship with them is over; then; demand for your space. 5. Learn to be alone; staying alone is a disciplinary life, that needs time to master and when you master it; you will realize that it is the best life ever. You become more creative and fulfilling when you started learning the discipline of staying alone. And staying alone will give you a clearer view of who your friends really are. 6. Engage in new skill. Start learning new skill, or improving your hobby will introduce you to a new set of idea, them making it possible for you to be tempted to wanting to hang out with them again. For instance, someone, who does not know anything about music eventually ventured into learning keyboard. The person will become enthusiastic with the skill he or she is learning and will engage him so much that he/she will begin to forget things that used to preoccupy his/her mind. 7. Read Books about self-development; books are powerful tools that will help you transform into what you want to become, they are so many incredible books that will help you transform. Look for book about self-development and read them. 8. Attend seminar and conference about self-development; seminars has capacity to transform people, if they are willing to change for good. Look for such seminars and build the new you.l 9. Avoid all those things you used to do with them even when you no longer hand out with them. Going back to your old ways of living might still link you to them emotionally. And when that happens you will find yourself longing to be with them again. It is absolutely unacceptable to go back to the ways of the friends you have avoided. 10. Do not be in a hurry to make new friends. Having let go of old toxic friends; then it is the time to look within yourself and work on yourself and look for better things to do with your life. 11. Attract the kind of people you want to be associated with; this is one of the most important thing to do after you might have avoided old toxic friends. Having successfully let go of your old friends. Then attract the kind of friends you want for yourself by the way you live your live. At this time you needed to live the kind of live you would want your new friends to live. Iron sharpens iron.